When You’re Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop

2 02 2010

A weary traveler checks into a hotel late at night.  He lays on his bed and drops his shoe, banging loudly on the hard floor; realizing how loud and rude he was being, he softly takes off his other shoe and places it on the floor.  A few minutes passed and a man below can be heard shouting, “Drop your other shoe already!  I can’t sleep waiting for it to hit the ground!”  For the man on the floor below the traveler, he was waiting for the other shoe to drop on the floor; the inevitable conclusion of the man’s anticipation of the undesirable thud.  Cowboy fans have witnessed the shoe drop after 1996 and their third Super Bowl of the ’90s.  Bulls fans witnessed it after Jordan-era.  Meg Ryan dropped the shoe after You’ve Got Mail.  Now, the fans in/(of) Boston are witnessing it happen right before their eyes.

These are the years of the last championship seasons for the teams of The Hub – with the Bruins in 1971.  In a decade, no city has enjoyed more championships than Bostonians in the Aughts.  (Please send refuting emails to Dwight Schrute at beeswax@notyours.com).  2007:  Celtics win their league-leading 17th championship, the Red Sox win World Series for the second time in 3 years and the Patriots win their 4th Super Bowl in 7 years; undefeated, no less.  (It happened.  Yes it did!  Just leave me alone!).  Okay, fine:  2004, Patriots win their 3rd Super Bowl in 4 years.

Since then, fans have parachuted in on the Bandwagon of Beantown from all over the country.   Well, I for one don’t mind all the bandwagoners seeing as how in this day of universally on-demand media anyone can follow any team no matter where they are.  I guess what I’m saying is, there’s nothing you can do about them so we should just live with it.  But I do have a message to those that may choose to stay:  ”Things are about to get rough, so buckle up or get off.”

2010:  the Patriots have expired their 5-year grace period for winning Super Bowl XXXIX.  2007 was definitely good year for the Pats but the first-round debacle of this year’s playoffs to the David Tyree Ravens combined with the humiliatingly, flukey loss to the David Tyree Giants in 2007 can swiftly lead to loss of good faith for their prosperity.

The Celtics are old.  The Big Three can’t hold the team together any more.  Leads aren’t preserved down the stretch without the intimidating defense of a truly healthy Kevin Garnett.  The general manager actively tried to get rid of Rajon Rondo on two separate occasions before giving him an extension this year.

The Red Sox.  I’m holding on to hope that last year’s sweep from the ALDS was an aberration, too.

Despite disappointing finishes the Pats did go undefeated during the regular season and won 18 games in a row, the Celtics and Bulls gave NBA fans an unforgettable 7 game series without KG in 2008 and the Red Sox…well the Red Sox added John Lackey to the rotation.  (I can’t honestly think of something I’m excited for about the Red Sox this year or last year).  The Bruins made the playoffs and lost to the Hurricanes in 7 games.  Silver linings are everywhere.  But how long will that hold?

Spoiled, like the cast of Jersey Shore getting paid to drink and fight.  New Englanders just expect good things to come, easily forgetting hardships that came before this decade.  You’re the father of a kid that will inevitably lose a game of basketball in the driveway because you’re getting older, fatter and slower and your kid is getting more agile, stronger and figuring out your weaknesses.

So what can you do?  I can’t say whether or not I’m handling the situation very well.  Every Celtics game I see, I have no reason to believe that they’ll win the game even with a 20-point lead in the 4th quarter.  I didn’t even predict the Patriots to be in the Super Bowl (but there’s no way I predicted the first-round piss-fest) this year.  The Colts have figured the Patriots out.  The Chargers would have beat them too.  (In hindsight, everyone in the playoffs could have beaten the Pats).

If you’re a bandwagoner and want to jump off, be my guest; you are entitled to your decisions and what makes you happy.  If you’re a die-hard, you can join me and prepare yourself to endure the inevitability that the shoe is getting closer and closer to the ground.  Take the insight of the late sportswriter Dave Halberstam, “If you need a victory by your favorite sports team to give you some kind of enduring emotional upgrade, then you are, I suspect, in real trouble.”

Go out and enjoy life.  No lovable losers here.





Home Away from Home

11 08 2008

When you’re a fan of a big-market team and the Team With the Most Bandwagon Fans Winner — I think ESPN had a extremely high percentage (greater than 75%) of Sportsnation agreeing that Boston has the most bandwagon fans (…ahem, Cubs fans anyone?) — it’s easy to be target of the worst insults of sports fan-hood…Bandwagon and the worse yet, Fair-weather.  I’ve yet to unleash those two-words of fury towards some people I find myself surrounded by but it has found itself on the tip of my tongue from time-to-time.

How have I avoided being cursed for so long despite my heralding of the recent Boston sports success (how is it that Boston didn’t win TitleTown USA)?  I was lucky enough to be acknowledged for my apparent “non-bandwagoning” but made me realize that Boston’s recent dominance has opened the flood gates for so-called fans that don’t know Big Papi’s real name even though they have a #34 jersey on, or don’t know why we hate Johnny Damon so much (alright, us kids today have used the word so much it’s lost all meaning, taking a line from Dr. Cox, I’ll substitute hate with mega-loathe from now on).

What should I have expected from living here?  About 1,500 miles away from Boston, am I not subject to the same scrutiny and judgement that I am putting others through?  I know that if I were to ever run into a Boston fan at some sports bar I’ll subtly take them through the “True-Fan Test” just to make sure I’m not wasting time by rehashing our favorite Boston moments.  It’s kind of like the time I was at a Naturals game and during pre-game a guy wearing a Boston t-shirt and hat looked my way and gave me the Cool Guy Nod (the kind of nod a guy gives to another guy in which he doesn’t want to seem overly excited) and I acknowledged with a Cool Guy Nod of my own because I was wearing my Papelbon shirt and Boston hat, but as he turned and walked down to his seats I questioned his fan-hood then decided that he wasn’t a bandwagoner because anyone around here can buy a Boston Red Sox hat from Wal-Mart but NO WHERE sells t-shirts — you have to really try and get those (he got an A from the True Fan Test).  A guy I saw weeks before was wearing a leather Red Sox jacket – he got an A plus.

There’s a part of me that finds solace in the Patriots losing the Super Bowl, because now when I see someone wearing a Patriots jersey (no matter how clean it is) I have absolutely no doubt in their loyalty.  That poor soul has gone through thick and thin with the Patriots last season and still displays their loyalty (automatic  A++ from the True Fan Test).  And even during the season up to the Super Bowl, every Pats fan was sitting in front of their TVs watching the Pats try and do what’s only been done once (and despite SpyGate ’07) everyone was collectively pushing for the Pats to come through.  After we didn’t go 19-0, the silver lining is that you knew who was a real fan because anyone that DID root for the undefeated Pats did so with the whole nation betting against, and every week when they got closer and closer, the bets started rising and the fans started becoming more invested in this team.  The other silver lining is that there’s room to top what happened last year, to be Undefeated Champions without SpyGate ’08 looming over our heads (I can dream, right?).

So does that mean that I wish the Red Sox hadn’t won in ’04 and are still looking for their first World Series championship for 88 years and still counting?  Absolutely not!  If the Razorbacks finally won their first NCAA title since 1964 and Hogs t-shirts start selling all over the nation, would I care that there’s a sudden rise in our fan-base?  Hell no!  My sisters asked me if Boston were to start the decline from their apparent peak in sports dominance (knocking on wood), if I were to still want to move to the New England Area, I said yes I would but I never really gave a reason why.  My reason is that even if the Sox, Patriots, and Celtics start tanking year after year (I just dented my coffee table by knocking too hard) I would be surrounded by fans that still continue to loyally support their team through the hard times (while of course vehemently cursing management and players out) and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, because there’s nothing sweeter than a group of people rooting for players and coaches to break out of their respective slumps and emerge victorious.  And that’s something that I would never get to enjoy by living 1,500 miles away from home.

…I was just administering the True Fan Test to myself.

I passed.





Why I’m on the Edge of Giving Up Sports All Together

4 08 2008

This one is stemming from a recent football game session I had with my friend Austin while wasting time at Best Buy in which I lost to him in our second overtime because (and I’m going to fight this to the very end) my receiver, which has been catching passes all game mind you (I was Boston College), dropped a pass in the endzone and his Safety (of the Razorbacks) came over and caught it for an interception (OK, granted I could have stopped him on defense but again, I was Boston College).

I didn’t stop him; he strolled into the endzone on a running play as his running back shook off a tackle like my linebacker was David trying to tackle Goliath (I’m sure they wrestled each other before David took a rock off the ground and Dennis the Menaced it at Goliath, just makes sense) and I had to endure the silent pity I was receiving from him and our witness Anthony, and I kept telling myself that there was nothing I could do about it as I cursed the sports gods as they laughed at me for the bowel movement I just took a nose dive in.

As I went through the 5 steps of losing: Anger, The Did-That-Just-Happen? Feeling, Denial, Depression, and Acceptance, I told myself it would never happen again or in real life. But wait a minute, it did! Super Bowl! Yeah it wasn’t a deflection but it was a once in a lifetime catch made by a player who has no receiving hands (David Tyree used his helmet). So then it just made me even more depressed that this has happened to me more than once and lead me to question if it’s a sign that I’ve angered the sports gods at sometime in my life. I think it’s because I’m a Razorback fan (the Red Sox can’t be used as an excuse anymore, “bye bye bamino!”).

How much more disappointment can I take as a sports fan? No one likes to lose but I LOVE to win. When a whole outcome is decided by one play that seams so surreal and makes you make the Did-That-Just-Happen Face, it’s really hard to find the silver lining. Red Sox fans knew my pain for 86 years and Cubs fans are silently nodding their heads along. How do you get through the feeling that your stomach has just dropped three feet and you’re currently stepping on it as you walk? How do you not look up at the sky and say, “Really? That bored, huh?”

It didn’t take very long for me to find my answer after I stopped wallowing in self pity.

The answer is that it’s the absolute reason why people LOVE sports! If there were no moments in history that made you jump off your seat and look at everyone in the room and shout, “Holy Shit! Did you just see that?!” sports would be pretty damn boring. Kind of like watching cars go around in circles 200 times or a ball getting kicked back and forth about 400 times. Some of the best moments in history are moments that movie writers can’t possibly script — okay a 12 year old kid will never, EVER pitch for the Cubs because he fell and caused his arm to throw 100 mph pitches. Without randomness we’d never have “The Immaculate Reception” or Jose Canseco’s home run assist. We wouldn’t have Janet’s wardrobe malfunction (yes, its sports related, that’s why Paul McCartney and Prince do the Half-Time Shows at the Super Bowl now).

The best thing about sports is its unpredictability. It’s randomness allows David to stand up against Goliath and win. Looking back, the game played out what actually happened in real-life. Arkansas vs. LSU last year. Multiple Overtimes. Interception in the endzone. Go figure.

Okay, NOW I’ve reached Acceptance.

photo





Why I Will Be Boycotting the NFL this Season

29 06 2008

Who can forget the ’07 Super Bowl, New England vs. New York (the good New York football team…wait a minute), and who can forget the miraculous helmet catch that had all Giant and Patriot fans shift gears about the way they thought the game was going to end? I sure didn’t.  I STILL turn the channel at the blink of an eye whenever I see video of the Giants celebrating and the Patriots sulking, and I didn’t watch ANY ESPN for a whole two weeks after the Super Bowl (so what’d I watch you ask?  A lot of Scrubs).

Any football fan-addict knows that the Super Bowl Loser for the past 6 years chokes the following season like Phil Mickelson in every tournament with Tiger in it.  He’d probably choke if Tiger challenged him to write a children’s book, left handed.  For instance: Rams lose to Patriots in ’01.  Miss playoffs in ’02.  Raiders lose to the Buccanneers in ’02.  Miss playoffs in ’03.  Panthers lose to Patriots in ’03.  Miss playoffs in ’04.  Eagles lose to Patriots in ’05 (best high school career ever), following season – missed playoffs. Seahawks actually made the playoffs after they lose to the Steelers but we can just forget about that.  Last one — Bears lost to the Colts and then MISSED THE DAMN PLAYOFFS!

I followed all the rules I established from being a Razorback football fan and a pre-2004 Boston Red Sox fan to never, EVER get ahead of myself.  I kept my mouth shut throughout the Super Bowl, only commented on the commercials (which were disappointing) and watched on as the clock ever so slowly ticked down to zero, which it didn’t fast enough.  Game over and no ring for Brushci to put on his pinkey.

I’ve put it passed me – sort of.  Sh*t happens and it’s sports but with all the turmoil and stress the Patriots put them and myself through last year by flirting with an undefeated season, how can I put myself through even worse conditions as they are destined to probably be swept by the Dolphins AND the Jets (God forbid).

All I can do instead is watch MLS futbol (and not shoot myself) and DVR college football games to watch them on Sundays so I can get my sports fix.  Now I’ll say goodbye to the NFL for the time being and goodbye to all the bandwagon fans that jumped on the Brady/Moss Express only to fall off the tracks due to old supports that were too heavily relied upon, about an average of 33 years too old.

Hey guys, 2009 is looking good though right?  I just hope my Brady jersey can keep its white shining until then.

Oh and let’s not forget that if the Patriots had won the Super Bowl, 2007′s major sports champions would have been:  Patriots, Red Sox, and Celtics — all from which city?  *sigh*








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